December 2008

Anybody want to take a trip with me....to December 2008? Well, that's where we're going!

Picture this, it was a COLD Denver winter (if you don't know, I'm a huge Golden Girls fan and just had to use Sophia's line). When I say cold, I mean putting most past winters to shame, we're talking temps of -30+ with the windchill factor. That will be semi important later and I thought this would be a good enough place to document it.

December 08 rolled into our lives much quicker than I was ready for. E-mails between Liv's father and myself were exchanged as he knows my anxiety levels on any given day are pretty high, but given the impending surgery...yeah, I was a bit on the high strung side. Every single fear you can imagine ran through my mind: Will she be allergic to the anesthesia, will she be allergic to the pain meds, will she have any complications during the surgery, how am I going to get her eating after and well, you get the idea. My mind was a racing MESS, yours would be too, I'm sure of it (yes, that thought makes me feel a tad better).

December 15...the eve of her surgery. I am so busy packing our bags for the hospital and freaking out trying to think of what we'll need. It's only going to be overnight (um...well was SUPPOSED to be), but I'm thinking she needs her own jammie's, I need my pajamas, computer, camera (never expect me to show up anywhere with THAT)...I need Liv's orders for the surgery, paperwork that I already filled out, insurance card, blankets and teddy bears sent by friends and family PLUS stuff for her to do! Liv is a *ahem* spirited child and keeping her busy on any normal day is anything but easy...lock her in a hospital room for a few hours is torture on her, much less overnight! As expected, I went to bed late. Very. Late.

December 16 4am my alarm clock goes off and I've slept all of two hours (UGH!). I check the weather site to get the temperature outside...."feels like -36"....SUPER. It's a pretty sober and slow going morning at this point. I finish the fine details on our bags, load up the car and start it...it hurts to breathe outside at this point, I mean we're talking sharp pains here and I wonder if it's anxiety or the cold. It was definitely the cold. 5am rolls around and my mom calls me from the parking lot as she is going with us because I just couldn't do it alone. I love my momma. I wake Liv, put on her heaviest coat, wrap her in her thickest blanket and carry her to the car. We begin the hour long drive to the hospital, check in is at 6am for a 9am surgery, fun. Check in runs smoothly and Liv is in good spirits. We're moved up to pre-op. Pre-op just sounds kind of scary, don't you think?

Time in pre-op has flown! Olivia's Pre-School director even stopped by to visit, how cool! We miss her (you'll see in future postings how the school situation is less than awesome for us right now). Finally, it's close to that time and a woman comes into our room, I forget her exact title, DOH! She shows us and mainly shows Liv what to expect in the operating room. She shows her the Styrofoam pillow thingy and face mask. Liv is totally cool with all of this and then she got to pick her flavor for her anesthesia (really they just rub skittles chap-stick inside the mask)! Liv picked cherry.

9am on the dot and it's go time. A nurse comes into our room and hands us scrub type things to wear. I'm shaking and can't zip mine, great! The nurse comes over, puts her hand on my shoulder and assures me, Liv's Dr is the best of the best around and it will be over in no time. I let a single tear slide and that was it. We were ready. The nurse let me carry Liv and my mom followed into the operating room. At this point, it was time and I was pretty nervous about seeing her fall asleep. The Dr came in and greeted us (seriously, she was the coolest ever!) and told Liv all that was going to happen. Liv laid right down and asked to keep her surgery bear with her...they LET HER!

This is the moment....they take her from my arms and lay her on the table, they check her stats and then the mask...oh that mask. She smiled at me and I'll never for get that...as the mask was put on her face she told me, "I love you mommy" and she signed it (that's kind of our "thing", we sign I love you and blow a kiss with that hand). Liv's little eye lids closed and she was asleep. It was probably the eeriest thing I've ever watched. My mom cried, I didn't...remember, I let my one tear slide.


**There is a LOT to tell about this moment in our past so I think this post is going to be broken up into a couple, maybe a few separate postings**

***The image in this post is my girl hanging out in Pre-op.***

Until later friends!