December 2008

Anybody want to take a trip with me....to December 2008? Well, that's where we're going!

Picture this, it was a COLD Denver winter (if you don't know, I'm a huge Golden Girls fan and just had to use Sophia's line). When I say cold, I mean putting most past winters to shame, we're talking temps of -30+ with the windchill factor. That will be semi important later and I thought this would be a good enough place to document it.

December 08 rolled into our lives much quicker than I was ready for. E-mails between Liv's father and myself were exchanged as he knows my anxiety levels on any given day are pretty high, but given the impending surgery...yeah, I was a bit on the high strung side. Every single fear you can imagine ran through my mind: Will she be allergic to the anesthesia, will she be allergic to the pain meds, will she have any complications during the surgery, how am I going to get her eating after and well, you get the idea. My mind was a racing MESS, yours would be too, I'm sure of it (yes, that thought makes me feel a tad better).

December 15...the eve of her surgery. I am so busy packing our bags for the hospital and freaking out trying to think of what we'll need. It's only going to be overnight (um...well was SUPPOSED to be), but I'm thinking she needs her own jammie's, I need my pajamas, computer, camera (never expect me to show up anywhere with THAT)...I need Liv's orders for the surgery, paperwork that I already filled out, insurance card, blankets and teddy bears sent by friends and family PLUS stuff for her to do! Liv is a *ahem* spirited child and keeping her busy on any normal day is anything but easy...lock her in a hospital room for a few hours is torture on her, much less overnight! As expected, I went to bed late. Very. Late.

December 16 4am my alarm clock goes off and I've slept all of two hours (UGH!). I check the weather site to get the temperature outside...."feels like -36"....SUPER. It's a pretty sober and slow going morning at this point. I finish the fine details on our bags, load up the car and start it...it hurts to breathe outside at this point, I mean we're talking sharp pains here and I wonder if it's anxiety or the cold. It was definitely the cold. 5am rolls around and my mom calls me from the parking lot as she is going with us because I just couldn't do it alone. I love my momma. I wake Liv, put on her heaviest coat, wrap her in her thickest blanket and carry her to the car. We begin the hour long drive to the hospital, check in is at 6am for a 9am surgery, fun. Check in runs smoothly and Liv is in good spirits. We're moved up to pre-op. Pre-op just sounds kind of scary, don't you think?

Time in pre-op has flown! Olivia's Pre-School director even stopped by to visit, how cool! We miss her (you'll see in future postings how the school situation is less than awesome for us right now). Finally, it's close to that time and a woman comes into our room, I forget her exact title, DOH! She shows us and mainly shows Liv what to expect in the operating room. She shows her the Styrofoam pillow thingy and face mask. Liv is totally cool with all of this and then she got to pick her flavor for her anesthesia (really they just rub skittles chap-stick inside the mask)! Liv picked cherry.

9am on the dot and it's go time. A nurse comes into our room and hands us scrub type things to wear. I'm shaking and can't zip mine, great! The nurse comes over, puts her hand on my shoulder and assures me, Liv's Dr is the best of the best around and it will be over in no time. I let a single tear slide and that was it. We were ready. The nurse let me carry Liv and my mom followed into the operating room. At this point, it was time and I was pretty nervous about seeing her fall asleep. The Dr came in and greeted us (seriously, she was the coolest ever!) and told Liv all that was going to happen. Liv laid right down and asked to keep her surgery bear with her...they LET HER!

This is the moment....they take her from my arms and lay her on the table, they check her stats and then the mask...oh that mask. She smiled at me and I'll never for get that...as the mask was put on her face she told me, "I love you mommy" and she signed it (that's kind of our "thing", we sign I love you and blow a kiss with that hand). Liv's little eye lids closed and she was asleep. It was probably the eeriest thing I've ever watched. My mom cried, I didn't...remember, I let my one tear slide.


**There is a LOT to tell about this moment in our past so I think this post is going to be broken up into a couple, maybe a few separate postings**

***The image in this post is my girl hanging out in Pre-op.***

Until later friends!

Phew....and a present day posting.

Well, it's approx 9:45pm here where I am and we've (thus far) made it! No antihistamines for FIVE whole days! This is an absolute joyous success for us. Tomorrow at about 10:30am we should be embarking on Liv's first skin testing *biting my nails*. Initially this was to test wheat, soy and maybe (MAYBE) peanuts. I have however asked to have her Dr check in with us (he will be in the office, but not present for the testing) and see if maybe we can test for more than just these few things. I feel like we've come so far and it hasn't been easy at all, why not take this opportunity and run with it? This is the most accurate way to test so why not toss a few more in...just to see where she really stands in this fight.

My present day postings are awful boring aren't they? I'm going to share a little secret with you all..I love (adore even) boring. It means all in the world is calm and going as it should.

If anybody is out there reading this tonight, or in the morning could you do us a favor? Say a prayer for us, think good thoughts, send positive vibes, or really whatever it is that you believe in? They will be received with much appreciation, that I can promise you. *cross my heart, even*

That Wacky Mother's Intuition Strikes Again

Who knew re-visiting the past could break you, emotionally? Just for a bit, but yeesh!

So...we were in the fall of 2007 when I last wrote (about the past anyway).

The remainder of 2007 was pretty uneventful. Well, uneventful by MY terms and the terms of a lot of other FA families. By uneventful, I mean ER trips were about once maybe twice a month and nothing extraordinary, just typical hives, breathing issues (not serious ones though) and colds attacking Liv's respiratory system. The first half of 2008 was similar to the last half of 2007. Usual ER trips, missed work, lost job due to missing work for Liv (No matter, I didn't want that job anyway *sticks out tongue* and quickly found another *THANKFULLY* :) ). Something stood out though during all this "normalcy", I kept hearing the doctors remark about her tonsils. At first, I thought nothing of this, but after about the billionth time hearing it (that's a lie, it was more like the 6th time), I couldn't shake it from my brain.

Late summer 2008, I took Liv to see the pediatrician. Once again, in hopes of getting that "ever elusive referral, but this time to an ENT. After all the comments about Liv's tonsils and looking at them myself (hello HUGE!), I decided an expert needed to see these suckers. Once again (gosh, I wish this wasn't such a repetitive scenario), I was told I was wrong. The pediatrician took a look and said they were large, yes, but nothing should really be done about them. He told me that while Tonsils were at one time removed at the drop of the hat, they really try to avoid that now. I was also advised that unless her tonsils were touching, they wouldn't see them as a threat to Liv's health. I was not about to go through this nonsense yet again. Remember the whole "do NOT underestimate a mother's intuition?" Yeah, file this situation under THAT. I'm pretty sure I sighed...loudly; I do this right before a confrontation that is going to be uncomfortable for me. At this point I recall standing up and saying, "my child has DEADLY food allergies...allergies that cause her to swell and stop BREATHING, you're going to tell me that her enlarged tonsils don't even remotely concern you?!" What I got in return to this out of character behavior (for me), was a hesitant smirk then...,"Alright. I will write the referral, but when they say nothing is wrong...be sure to come and see me." Uh, seriously?! Did he JUST say that to me? He is giving in and writing it?! Who cares about his sarcasm, he gave us the referral after round ONE! NICE! I called and put Liv on the 3 month waiting list and made the appointment with an ENT at The Children's Hospital here in Denver.

Fall 2008...It's GO TIME, or....ENT time! We sat in the waiting room for what seemed like an eternity. Really, we waited for an overbearingly long time. Once we were seen though, it all happened so quickly. We did the usual weight, height and temp check, went through her list of medicines. The nurse responded to her medicine list like they all do, "Really? That many medicines for one tiny little girl?" Yep, that many...it's true. Anyway, eventually we're greeted by a warm and super friendly Dr. I could have hugged her she was so people friendly. She asked a set of questions: Does Olivia snore? Yes. Does Olivia wake in the middle of the night and if so....is it often? Yes...and it is every night. Does she need long naps still? Yes. Does she perspire in her sleep? She wakes up soaking wet in sweat. Q&A ends and the Dr takes a quick look inside Liv's little mouth. She quickly pulls away and says, "We rank tonsils on a scale of 1-4, 1 being barely there and 4 being touching. Olivia is a 3 almost a 4. In my opinion, they need to go, even if she didn't have food allergies I would say this." Now, let me preface this next sentence by saying, I do not love seeking out illnesses for my child. Okay, VALIDATION, don't underestimate what a mother knows about her child. Nobody knows your child and their health/symptoms like their momma.

I think this is a good point to sum this post up. Liv's father and myself quickly discussed whether or not to do the surgery. I say quickly because well...it was a no brainer. Surgery set for Dec of 2008 and that is where I shall resume in this catch up process.

PS, for those wondering, I DID in fact go and visit the referral giving Dr as agreed upon ;).

Yep, back to present day for this post!

We're on Day three (day THREEEEEE!!) of no antihistamines for Liv! I can't say that the past few days have been without incident, but they're passing none the less. Every so often I see the hives firing off. I see them in her cheeks, but they seem to go as quickly as they show. Her skin is taking a beating right now and I can't help but hurt for her. I feel like I'm torturing her for my own benefit, I know this to be false, but she hurts...I hurt.

In order to treat the Eczema we're doing some wet wraps which seem to be helping some. Now, if you've never had to do a wet wrap on your child, it's not fun. I might even suggest chucking your sanity out the window before you begin this painfully slow, but Heaven sent process. At any rate, Liv is pretty used to these and has learned they are aggravating at best, but make her feel better.
At the age of four, she is amazingly reasonable. I guess this comes from years of ER trips, shots, IV's and a plethora of regular daily meds. She knows which medicines are for what and which help her in emergencies.

All this said, I feel like I haven't said much at all. Eh....sorry about that.

Til next time.

Lifes little nightmares

By the fall of 2007 the divorce was final and the kids and myself had moved back to good old Colorado.

One fall day that started off like any other normal day....IT happened, the reaction that nightmares are made of. We were visiting my parents house and my almost 2 year old Liv opened the fridge. She looked up and saw the eggs at the top of the door, wondering what they were she kept pointing to them...I looked over and panicked . As I ran over and grabbed her, she shook the door til an egg fell to the ground. I'm pretty sure that my heart stopped at this point. The egg didn't break and Liv was in the clear...phew! Nope, probably shouldn't underestimate the temper of a toddler, I was just about to pick her up from where she stood when she did it....she STOMPED her bare little foot on the egg. I'm pretty sure my heart ACTUALLY stopped at this point. What came next is something I would not believe had I not seen it with my very own eyes. Within seconds she had hives on her foot and quickly working their way up her legs/back. I screamed for my mom to come help me clean her up (in hopes this would help). As my mom tossed her in the sink I gave Liv her Benadryl. The washing nor the Benadryl did any good. I strapped Liv into her car seat and high tailed it to the ER that was closest. It took about four minutes to get her there during which time I did my best to keep her talking to me. As I turned into the parking lot, she stopped responding....I looked in my mirror and caught the panic in her eyes. I parked my car right there (in the entryway of the er...on the sidewalk), grabbed my baby and RAN like her life depended on it....it did depend on it.

There was no wait in the waiting room...I suppose when a mom comes running in holding a child that is not breathing, you bypass the line. She was taken from my arms by one of the nurses that came running to meet me. At this point, Liv was in full blown anayphylaxis...if you've never witnessed this, it's unlike anything you'll ever see. The Dr checked her O2 sats which of course were not good, he checked her breathing which was also, not good. At this point a second nurse was running in our direction with an Epinephrine injection. Liv was given the shot which caused a whole new set of problems. While Liv started breathing, she also started screaming at the top of her lungs. She began vomiting (either from being so worked up, or the reaction)...violently. There I was standing next to my baby and could do nothing for her, but try with all my might to stay calm and get her calmed. Like I said, this is what nightmares are made up of. Eventually, she did stop vomiting and she did calm down. She lay limp and vomit covered in my arms. I'm honestly not sure I even minded at that point. It took me a few minutes to realize I wasn't alone in the room with her, there was a nurse with me. Up to this point, none of the staff had even spoken to me (other than to find out the basics of what happened). She rubbed my shoulder, handed me a cup of ice water and said, "good job, mom." Nothing too profound, nothing emotional, just the "good job, mom", and I cried. This nurse brought a hospital gown for Liv and myself. She explained that she'd never seen anything like this in her life. I found no comfort in that, but I loved that nurse. I loved her for not speaking to me and only concerning herself with Liv when it mattered. I loved her for trying to comfort me in the end. I loved her for her part in saving my child's life.

Liv wasn't admitted into the hospital, she was discharged from the ER several hours later with a steroid prescription and an Epi Pen. She still had hives for a few days, but that's to be expected and pretty normal.

I could go on about this incident, but I'm emotionally drained from re-visiting this moment in time.

Oh, her name is Gina...the nurse. We went back the next week to return the hospital gowns we were allowed to leave wearing, and we left a thank you card with a gift card to Chili's for all the staff that helped Liv that day. Gina got her own card, because she truly cared...for both of us.

Nervous, Anxious and Biting My Nails (Gross)....

Not much to say on this "Present Day" posting....

Tomorrow Liv goes Antihistamine free...until Wednesday. Five days until she has the LONG awaited skin test. Wish us luck, maybe even cross your fingers, knock on some wood and say some prayers...
I am surprisingly less anxiety ridden that I thought I would be tonight. Tomorrow will prove to be a different story, I'm sure.

See? Not so exciting tonight. It's late and tomorrow is my long day at work. I promise to do my best to get the "History posts" up to date over this coming weekend.

The Unknown and Uneventful

I believe that I last left off with throwing foods across my kitchen...

It was at this point in time that I began to regroup and head into the unknown. Yes, I knew what I had to avoid and thought I knew how. I had NO earthly idea just how HARD this task was going to be. I mean when you think about it...a one year old that can't have cheerios, any cereal other than rice and corn chex were out, any fast food (because at the time there was really no such a thing as places posting allergy info...that is still hard to come by), pasta, mac & cheese, Gerber snacks and meals....the list goes on...I mean really...WHAT do you feed a one year old that is so restricted? A lot of home cooking is what you will feed them! I began making Sunday a cooking day. I'd cook chicken and rice with veggies, chicken, cheese and again..rice. I'd feed her lots of meats, cheeses, fruits and veggies...I made this all in bulk and would freeze small containers of her meals to make life easier on me. You know those days when you just pop a frozen meal in the microwave? I made our own...I felt so...so INVENTIVE, ha! In reality, I think I just felt like I was gaining control on this disease. I was going to live with it as if it were second nature or a second skin.

I was blessed to have such great friends around in a time that I had no family around. They got to know Liv's allergies as if she were their own. In a life where spontaneous barbecues were a way of life; they were amazing. They would stop making foods like Deviled Eggs or anything else that would cause severe danger for Liv, they would explain to others about her allergies and to please refrain from bringing certain foods. I couldn't have been luckier in what could have been a sad/lonely situation.

And so passes a pretty uneventful year. No further signs of reactions, the eczema was still just as bad as ever, but that was "normal", sadly.

Next blog will begin in the Fall of 2007......

Doing more, so much more...

Okay, so I'm working on keeping up my blogging promises and so here I am...doing my "present-day posting" for your reading and viewing pleasure.

At this point in our lives I'm ready for so much more. I feel as though I've been to battle with these crazy FA's and am over fighting them. I am on to accepting them for all that they are. That COULD be because we're rounding the corner to Liv's 5th Birthday and there is little hope for outgrowing some of these FA's. I've spent so much time anticipating her 5th birthday being this huge turning point and like magic, she would be without food allergies and with FOOD. Okay, that's kind of stretching the truth...for about the last year I'd lost hope of age five being magic. That doesn't mean that her turning five isn't a pivotal time in our life. We are looking at hopefully eliminating wheat & soy from her not safe list. As a matter of fact, if all goes well...by this time next week Liv will have had her first ever SKIN testing done for wheat, soy and maybe (HUUUGE maybe here) peanut! If we can add wheat and soy back into her diet....or heck, even just SOY (if you've never read food labels...Soy. Is. In. EVERYTHING...ok...almost everything.), life sure would be a lot easier.

What do I mean by "if all goes well"? Well, Liv takes antihistamines every single day (along with a plethora of other daily meds). She's been on them 3 times a day for as long as I can recall, we've gotten her down to once a day and tomorrow will be her last day of taking any until next Weds. IF she should for some reason break out, or need an antihistamine before next Wednesday...the test is off. I would then have to work on keeping her off of the antihistamines for another 5 consecutive days and let the testing commence...whenever we get to that.

At the point of testing we will have immediate results and numbers, but this won't mean that we can just jump in and add these foods into her diet. After doing the testing and (hopefully) getting negative reactions, we move on to the food challenges. These will take place at the Main campus for National Jewish (if you don't know who they are, they are angels on Earth to some of us...check them out, they really are amazing!). The food challenges are lengthy and sound pretty boring at best. At least, I HOPE Liv's are boring...boring means nothing exciting happens...other than new foods being added to her diet, of course.

So much for organized writing skills, I wanted to convey how I am ready for more. I've found myself becoming quite the advocate for kids with food allergies. I've had to break down several personal barriers to learn to speak up for Liv and fear that not all parents will be able to jump those personal hurdles themselves. I find that I'm more and more involved in so many food allergy awareness organizations, discussions and support groups; all of this makes me happy. It makes the past almost four years worth all the while. The reason for this blog even happening is to share, share and share some more. I have hope that other parents will find solace in knowing we're not alone in this fight. I do promise to be as forthcoming as possible, through the good times, the bad times an the really REALLY bad times. Please hold me to that and ask anything you like.

I leave you with this and I now embark on the newest journey in my life...SEWING, yay!

Shameless fundraising moment

I will get to a "present day" posting later this evening..I hope. You see, I just got a new sewing machine and am beside myself with excitement to play with it right now!

This blog is shamelessly to provide y'all (yes, I say y'all...a lot) with the link to our Food Allergy Awareness Walk! We walk in August of every year and cannot wait for this one! It should be the best one yet...activity wise anyway.

Walking For Liv and SO many others! Please take a moment to head on over to our walk page and read away, donate if you're moved and able to do so....if you're unable, we understand and still love y'all (see....there is again...I won't even apologize for it either)!

Rationality, sanity and me? Are you KIDDING?!

So where are we....oh yes, somewhere in the fall of 2006 and recently diagnosed with an egg allergy...an anaphylaxis allergy at that.

I start the process of scouring the internet for as much information as I can get my hands on. I don't advise using google as a means to a diagnosis, or to help find your sanity in any of this, it definitely is not good for either. I find out that egg is one of the top allergens for children under five. These top allergens are referred to as the "Top Eight". This "Top Eight" would soon become a vital part of life for us. It is also widely published that most children outgrow these allergens by age 5. Hallelujah, there is light at the end of the tunnel!

After reading for hours on end about an egg food allergy, I decide Liv needs to see an allergist ASAP. Well, ASAP in the military world turned into a 2 almost 3 month wait. I took her to three Dr appointments, my only mission was to get the ever elusive referral for the allergist. I was told by the first Dr that there was no need to worry, just avoid egg at all costs. The second two were no better than the first; I was told that at just over a year old, Liv was not old enough to have allergy testing done. That last Dr, must have seen something in my eyes change because before I was able to blurt out the train of profanities I had running through my mind....he caved. He was CERTAIN that the allergist would tell me the same as him and we'd move forward; him being right and me being wrong. Never EVER underestimate a woman's intuition...right? Well, I would suggest that you also file "mother's intuition" under the "do not dis-regard" and "do not under any circumstances....question" files. I'm just giving advice that is best for all involved here.

I get Liv on the waiting list for an allergist in Topeka, about an hour drive away. I quickly realize that living in nowhere KS stinks when it comes to specialty care.

A month or so passes and it's GO time! Time for testing! I have no idea what I'm in for here, but we make the trip to the allergist. The allergist is pretty aloof and not so people friendly, but she does an adequate job of explaining what the test is and what it can mean. She promptly sends us back to Ft Riley after a quick blood draw. It takes one to two weeks to get blood results back. The blood test is called a RAST test and typically given only if a child has had an anaphylaxis reaction. It's just too deadly to even touch them with any possible allergen, much less the one that put them in such a deadly situation to begin with.

I let about a week and a half go by and I just can't take the anticipation anymore...I need answers! I call the allergist and get her results...the nurse reading the results explains to me that any reaction level over 0.50 means she is allergic.
*DRUUUUUM ROLL PLEASE*

Wheat - 0.62 (not so bad, but not really expected)
Soy - 2.00 (not great, not deadly...even less expected than the wheat)
Peanuts - 26.50 (WHAT?!! Oh holy heck...what are we getting into here?!)
Eggs - 28.75 (Well slap me in the face, Shocker *drippppping with sarcasm*)
Dogs - .75 (minimal and again, not entirely expected)
Cats - 10.5 (Really?! Crap, we just got a kitten that Liv loves! Booo)
Other than cats and dogs, no environmental (PRAISE the LORD for the little things!)

Now, I wish I could say that I took this news in stride and was strong about it. I wasn't. I was anything BUT okay. My first mission: Call ALL THREE Dr's that blew us off at the clinic and give them her results. I don't know why I needed to do this, but I did...and I even felt just the slightest bit better after those calls. I can't pretend that I am a rational creature, and when it comes to my children...what little rationality I have is quickly lost.

I then email all of this to my husband (now ex) who was at the time doing a tour in Kuwait. Finding out all of this alone was not easy, but it prepared me for what was to come in the next few years. Emailing this to her father made me feel no better as there was no comforting involved (only because we couldn't talk about it and he'd not yet been able to call/respond to this). I called my mom and dad aka my ROCKS. My parents have never been very comforting people, but between this diagnosis and the news of my separation from my husband....they were everything and then some at this time. My parents were exactly what I needed. They quickly related and assured me things would be okay. They COULD relate because of how bad of an Asthmatic I was as a child (SEVERE Asthmatic even going to National Jewish myself). The phone calls to the Dr's, email to my husband and phone call to my parents happened over a time span of maybe an hour. This was nowhere near the time I needed to really accept this and move on. I cried. I cried a LOT. I then proceeded down to Liv's snack cupboard and starting throwing things across the kitchen that had any of her allergens. Yep, cleaned out her cupboard entirely and ended up sweeping ... a lot. Again, I stress that I'm not a rational person and I felt okay with physically throwing these across the kitchen. In fact, I felt better after that. I felt comfort in hurting the foods that were hurting my baby. Do I sound like a total nut case yet? Oh, it gets better...just you wait. Oh, almost a week later we found a new home for the kitten :(.

*These posts get away from me and get longer than I originally intend....my apologies for that*
**You will hear as time goes on about me and how I dealt with these trials/triumphs...mostly about me because I cannot speak for my ex husband. I do not want any bashing on him, or bad thoughts for not being around either....he is active duty Army and cannot be around. Please respect the balance he, his wife and myself have found over time (as our goal is to give Liv and her brother the best outlook on life and family as we possibly can). Thank you**

Can't wait to pick up from here soon! (I'm finding this to be quite therapeutic, btw)

Insight...Maybe perspective even...?

So, I think I'm going to do a bit of back and forth. You don't mind do you? I think if I'm going to blog to (hopefully) help others, I also want to help myself and use this as a small slice of therapy.

Today I ask that you please don't judge me. I am that mother you see at the little stand of antibacterial wipes (you know the ones, when you first walk into the store...by the carts?), or breaking out my own wipes. I will in fact wipe down the grocery cart before I put Liv into it. Yes, at almost 5 years of age, she does ride in the cart still. She rides in the cart to avoid the many dangers a grocery store can present to us. You see, if you sat your child in a cart before us, or you yourself just ate a peanut/tree nut/egg containing food and without washing your hands touched this cart....well, that could be a potentially disastrous trip to the store for us. If she is not in the cart and walking next to me then touches something that has cross contamination...again, we're looking at disaster. Please, the next time you see that mom frantically cleaning her cart...stop looking at her like a crazy germ-a-phobe nut-case, thanks. That mom MIGHT just be taking life saving precautions for her precious child.

Today I ask that you don't tell the parent of an FA (Food Allergic) child (with no doubt in your mind at all) that their child will outgrow their allergies. There are several reasons for this...first reason: We typically have been through the ringer and then some with our FA kids. A good number of us do in fact have a support system in place and well, sadly....we HOPE for the best, but expect nothing to change. It's just better that way. Oh, getting back to why not to do this... Secondly: if you say this to a parent and their FA child is in earshot and hears you...*sigh* well, YOU try being a parent that has to then tell said FA child that for right now, they are NOT growing out of their FA's. Yep...it's heart breaking for both parent and child. Pleasant...right? And the final reason that I will list (there are definitely MORE reasons), it's just plain aggravating to hear this from somebody other than an Allergist or Immunologist. Don't get me wrong, I understand that people mean well, I do, but to most of us, this is an old hat. We are all to aware of the odds we're up against and when.

Today I ask that you please don't think we are trying to infringe on you or your child's rights. I don't love going into a school and asking the powers that be for a peanut/tree nut and egg free environment for Liv. I know this means that you can no longer bring in baked goodies for your child's birthday or holiday parties and I don't love that one bit. You might think this to be an inconvenience in your life, but let me tell you what it means to ours. These restrictions mean for me; that I have to take on the task of monitoring what foods are in MY child's classroom each and every single day. I do not have room for error in my food monitoring...not even in the slightest. These restrictions mean that I do surprise visits to the school (or send friends/family members to do my 'dirty work') to monitor foods, cleaning habits AND verifying that my child's Epi-Pen is wherever she is. Yes, I DO and will ask the teacher or PERA to see her Epi-Pen. They don't like it, I don't like it and YOU don't like it...but please, don't hate me for trying to keep my child alive and thriving in a normal functioning life. Thank you.

For today in this moment....these few things are all that I ask.



**How can I NOT fight to protect THIS precious face?**

A Brief History

In the fall of 2005 we welcomed Liv into the world.




Since birth she has been such an amazing little person. It wasn't long after her birth that her father and I noticed how sensitive her skin was. She was constantly breaking out and scratching. Non-stop. SCRATCHING. She was always making herself bleed from this scratching. We of course took her to the Dr and they (of course) diagnosed her with having Eczema. Liv's older brother had Eczema as an infant so we just accepted this and moved on...so we thought.



Fast forward through an entire YEAR of severe flare ups, TONS of Aquaphor (we lovingly referred to it as her grease) and constant frustration over her skin. In the Fall of 2006 we flew across the country to DE and celebrated Liv's first birthday, this would also go down as her first "true" allergic reaction. When she did the traditional first birthday "cake smash" she really wasn't too fond of the cake. I just attributed her behavior to being over stimulated and exhausted so we put her in a bath. As the time passed I noticed she was scratching at her ears something awful (a LOT more than usual), had a runny nose and extremely fussy. Being the almost embarrassingly over prepared mom that I am, I had Benadryl on hand. I assumed she was reacting to her cousin's soap from the bath and gave her a dose of the Benadryl. Almost immediately she was calmed and sound asleep in my arms -- crisis averted (if only I had known just how serious of a crisis we were experiencing). The next day we flew back to KS and all in the world was well again. Who knew her first birthday would be such a turning point in life as we knew it?



About a month after her first birthday our lives changed forever. It was at this point in time I thought I would try my hand at giving Liv scrambled eggs. I KNOW (and knew then) that you should wait til they are two, but seriously...who follows ALL the guidelines on what to feed your infant/toddler and when?! I obviously did not. Anyway, back to the story...I made her one scrambled egg, sat her in her sassy seat and served her. I must have at some point in time read that eggs have a good possibility of causing allergic reactions because I watched her...I mean I WATCHED her try this new food. I can still recall having this anxious feeling in my gut that maybe this wasn't such a good idea...even IF other mommies were trying this with their children the same age as Liv. Almost immediately following her first bite she was screaming....SCREAMING. I thought I was imagining her face turning red, but with a quickness her eyes started swelling and I BOLTED into a frenzy of action! I sent my son running to grab a neighbor/friend, grabbed Liv, all but threw her into her car seat, and started driving to the hospital. I barely even stopped the car (in fact, I'm not entirely sure that I DID come to a complete stop) to let my son and friend into the car. It took approx 10 minutes for me to make the drive to the hospital and in that time my poor girls eyes were swollen shut. Completely. Shut.

At the hospital she was given a dose of Benadryl and stayed a few hours for observation. She quickly recovered and we were sent home with instructions to avoid egg....at all costs. I instantly accepted this and started rummaging through all of Liv's snacks and foods...tossing anything that had an inkling of egg in it.

This is a rather long post, but I think I'm at a good stopping point. I will continue posting on the past to get this blog up to date.