The first week of school for both children has come and gone, all has been perfectly well! Tai, well what is there to say about that kid that hasn't been said? He loves his teacher, is the tallest kid in the school, taller than half of the teachers in his school, for that matter. He has also informed me that the school that he and his sister go to no longer offer peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, but they DO offer SUNBUTTER and jelly sandwiches! How cool is that?!
Liv's teacher has been an absolute angel. Okay, so that's a bit dramatic, but that is how I feel. She has jumped right on board when it comes to caring for my daughter in her class. For instance, the Friday before school started, Liv had some testing to do with the teacher...when we walked in, the room smelled gloriously of Lysol wipes and hand sanitizer. Mrs H (Liv's teacher) seems to be getting the gravity of our situation.
All of the above is great news, however, there is a new level of awkwardness for me now... play-dates. Doh! How did I not see these things coming? We've been invited on two right after school, the first being this Friday. All the mommies will be bringing lunches for the kids and then letting them play at the playground in the park. First off, yay for being invited into the social hierarchy of "mommy play-dates". Secondly, how in the WORLD does one ask all of the mommies to bring lunches NOT consisting of any egg, peanut or tree nuts?! I want nothing more than for my daughter to have the best social interaction that I can give her, but I have no clue how to manage both her allergies AND this new social world.
This might seem trivial to most people, the mommy play-dates, but it's HUGE. I've never really been a part of any play-date groups with Liv. I avoided those things with all that I have because to us, they are dangerous. If not dangerous, just awkward. It's not easy to present Liv's allergies without coming off as a over-protective, paranoid/psycho mother.
Ah, I have no real solutions to this predicament. I suppose for now I will just be thankful for being invited "in". I mean, that's all I can really do, right?
I would be very open and honest with the moms who have invited you to meet up for playdates. I think it's entirely appropriate to explain Liv's life threatening allergies and tell them that for her safety you cannot have her touching any of these foods. You might want to offer to bring lunch yourself, if that's feasible. And bring hand wipes.
ReplyDeleteI know I've found it easier when talking to a mommy friend who's child has life-threatening FAs to ask "what Can I bring?" in order to make sure that what I bring is safe.
Be strong, be brave... and yes, they may think you're a wacko.
You raise some good points, Beth. And, honestly, I didn't get this 'socially awkward' by really caring what people think of me...right? :P
ReplyDeleteI just don't want them having bad feelings toward Liv.
Welp, I was attacked with yet another invite, this one for next Tues. I will put on my strong and brave face!
Thanks Beth!
Just let them know that the only way you and Liv can attend is if the foods they bring are safe for her! I know in the mommy group i was in back in TN we would all bring food but the ones that had allergies would remind us not to bring certain items so that they could attend.
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