Retractions, Second Guessing and Right Decisions...

There are announcements and then there are ANNOUNCEMENTS. This will be an ANNOUNCEMENT.

Last week was registration time for Tai for school. I arrived and grabbed his folder which also had Liv's name on it, as she was all set to attend this school before the summer began. I filled out all of the necessary paper work and spoke with the principal about Liv not attending the school. This is where things get tricky. He was upset, not angry, but genuinely upset and told me he knows it was ultimately my choice, not his. He told me that whatever accommodations were needed, surely they could meet them. I explained I that my ex-husband and myself had made our decision. He accepted this and looked completely defeated. Good. Except somewhere within, my heart was a bit saddened by this. It may have been just a mixture of being around all the kids excited for school starting, all the staff talking to me and asking about the kids...I'm not sure exactly what IT was, but I started second guessing decisions made. Decisions I was previously content with. At any rate, I continued to just register Tai. I stopped at the nurses desk to give her Tai's emergency card. She is also a friend as her son is in scouts with my son. The nurse asked about Liv and when I told her our decision, she too looked defeated. I could see on the faces of the entire staff that they had big plans for Liv, plans that had apparently changed since I last spoke to any of them.

Finally, as I was leaving, I turned right back around and asked about half-day classes. The admission secretary told me that mornings were full and if enrolled, Liv would have to attend PM classes. Well, that was going to be it for me at that point. Liv would be in more danger going to a PM class than being at the school for the entire day. This is because there is no knowledge of what kids ate before coming to school, one touch from a child with mayo, egg or peanut butter and Liv could be on her way to the ER. The good thing about the AM class is breakfast. I don't know about you, but I don't know many kids that eat eggs for breakfast before school. It can happen, but it's less likely than a PB&J, or food containing mayo. So, in my head, I figured the second guessing was all for not.

All of this was not settling with me just yet. I poked my head into the Principal's office and inquired about the accommodations they could make. He told me whatever was needed, they would do. I told him that I may consider half-day class. This is where a turn of events came...a big turn. He then asked if I would be interested in am or pm class. I explained the am class being full and that I was only exploring the option as I was not sure of the pm class. He verified that this was our "home" school and explained that if I wanted her in the am class, she would be in the am class, period. What?! Was I imagining this all, or was he completely ready to do whatever necessary to have my child attend this school?! Still not too sure on my feet about any of this (WHAT am I doing?! We just got this all figured out!!), I set up the 504 meeting with him for last Friday.

I discussed this with some friends and we are all in agreement that something came down the line. Don't forget that I had been in contact with the office of Civil Rights. They had everything on record and a complaint ready to file. I definitely believe this changed the course of things for us. Liv's father and I discussed this at length the next day and came to the conclusion that while our daughter is "different", she deserves the chance at some normalcy. As long as the 504 meeting went smoothly and every accommodation I felt necessary was put into it, Liv was going to go to SCHOOL!

504 MEETING:

Wow, never underestimate the people who will be working, hands-on with your child. I first attended a meeting in the morning with the district nurse, she was unable to make the actual 504 meeting. She was simply wonderful and knew a lot about food allergies and Anaphylaxis, bonus! It was a lengthy meeting and I feel, a successful meeting.

ACTUAL 504 Meeting:

I walked into a conference room, and at first felt completely overwhelmed and intimidated. There sat SEVEN pairs of eyes staring at me. The meeting consisted of the principal, assistant principal, Liv's teacher and her assistant, the school nurse, psychologist and the PERA. Mr. Principal (we'll just call him that) opened the meeting by handing out the drafted 504. As we began talking, six of those pairs of eyes scoured the drafted 504 and proceeded to TEAR. IT. APART. You could see immediately how disappointed THEY were with it and brought up each and every one of my own concerns, without me ever having to say them myself. Seriously? Did this just happen?! These women (six of them were women) were on Liv's side, they truly were. They played devil's advocate in every scenario they could think of, and they thought of a lot! By the end of the meeting, Mr. Principal was stunned. He had no idea that I was in fact, not crazy and made no effort to hide that fact. I'm perfectly okay with that. I know my daughter has a team at school that is there for her, thinking of her and worried for her. I know my daughter is in as safe hands as I can possibly put her in, other than my own.

Sometimes (Read: a LOT of times) we as parent second guess ourselves. I'm okay with this because I think it means we are examining all options and only doing our best to give our children the best we can. With THAT, I have to retract my previous announcement of homeschooling and I'm excited to say that Liv's father and myself have decided after a successful 504 meeting that our little girl will be starting school next week.

**Homeschooling** is still an option for us, if at any point in time we become uncomfortable with Liv going to school.